New Year’s Relections

In the next few hours, it will be 2015. And I am still working on my degree. I met people in 2014 – good and bad, but mostly interesting people. Some got along so well with me, some not. People come and go. I could feel it, the life that makes me wiser day by day. I just need to be open minded to learn about stuff.

I am closer to my mom. We made a real connection lately. I am always close to her, but this year can be the real good time between me and her. She told so many things, her deepest thoughts, her fears, her sadness. I could only gave my shoulder and wiped her tears. We never had any arguments this year. It is always I listened to her or she understood my needs. We’re completing each other. And I love her. Always.

This year, my uncle passed away. He got heart attacked. He’s the oldest uncle and he’s quite generous, I think. He cared about me. I remembered that moment he told me about the vacancy at the company he worked for. He followed it up, all the tests that I got, he took his time to check my name. It was quite memorable to me. As he was there when I am alone without any friend to talk to about that recruitment things. I miss him. We will miss someone who has passed away at some point in our years. We will die also.

Some guys that I used to be really close left this year. J, the guy I met since 2012, just got back to his hometown in mid of 2014. H, the guy I met in 2013, was moving to Singapore yesterday for work rotation. Those are two initials that I can’t forget til now. They made special momentos in my heart. They became real friends. They showed up, and then they left me alone somehow. And I know, this is life.

Also, this year two of my bestfriends are being married. It is not easy for me to answer people around who asks where my boyfriend is. It is also not easy for me to find someone who can be my right partner. Maybe I am too picky. Maybe I think too much. Maybe there are many fears on my head. Maybe I can’t be relax with it. But yes, everyone has their own time, they just need to be certain of what they already decided.

The fireworks, firecrackers, laughs, shouts I just heard outside. And I am home here writing this blog. I promised my mom to stay with her this new year’s eve. My friends asked me out from days ago, but this is what I want. Spending few hours before the 2014 ends at home – with my mom, and just be grateful with things that happened in 2014. The year that I lost things and also learnt more about life. I can’t complain. I just need to be patient and grateful. There is always something brighter than the past I believe.

Talking about resolutions, I don’t really have now. Thou if I need to write it down, it can be a long list. The main goal for me in the next year is just being a better person from this year. Being better is not an instant, not a real fast process. I need to learn day by day. But – I promise myself to be preserverance to change to be better. Small changes in my life. Small steps. Small actions. To be better – instead of making huge resolutions.

Anyway, it’s 3 hours to the 2015. I need to take shower and get ready to just say happy new year to my loved ones. You guys take care and happy new year! 🙂

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